Dear Short Answers >> One of my best friends has started to talk endlessly about her wedding. She seems to be planning all the details and has even picked out a dress. She has asked her girlfriends to be bridesmaids and talked to a caterer about the food. The problem is that she isn't engaged (we're both in our 30s). She doesn't even have a real boyfriend. Is this a good fantasy or a dangerous obsession? Should I let her fantasize or stop her before someone gets hurt?
Dear Short Answers >> We have all heard of 30-something biological clocks creating anxiety, but this seems over the top. Why don't each of you, as the opportunity arises, ask to meet her beloved? See what she says. At this point, a group intervention seems premature. Remember Harvey, the 6-foot tall rabbit that guided Jimmy Stewart through some of life's shoals? Perhaps with some gentle attention your friend will decide to "break off" the engagement. If not, write to us again.
Dear Short Answers >> A new doctor recently moved to town and everybody seems to love him. Unfortunately, I happen to know about some serious "indiscretions" that occurred in the last town he lived in. These were of a sexual nature and had nothing to do with his medical skills. I'm torn between letting him get a fresh start in a new town and feeling the need to warn people that he isn't what he appears to be. What do you think the right thing to do is?
DEAR DORIS D-R >> Clearly, the virtuous road is the one not taken. The line between an indiscretion and consenting behavior is pretty difficult to determine — often only by parties involved and clearly you were not a participant. People are not as dumb as you seem to think. They will make their own judgments about his doctoring and his other interests without your prequel. And this is his livelihood you are gearing up to damage. Nix, nein, no.
Dear Short Answers >> My husband's family is visiting for a whole week. I really knocked myself out this year with holiday preparations, but I don't think they really appreciate it. I feel resentful — any advice?
DEAR TRYING >> Try harder. You've already committed — don't blow it in the 9th.
Dear Short Answers >> If your cleaning person is a Jehovah's Witness, is it still appropriate to give her a Christmas tip?
DEAR MEGG >> Sure. It is always appropriate to say thank you — and not necessary to call it a Christmas gift.
Look both ways
Dear Short Answers >> I am not a feminist, but I am a modern woman and feel I have to think of my future as if I was alone. Is this necessarily dangerous for a relationship?
DEAR SOLO >> We are feminists, and we think if you don't plan for yourself, you are a fool. And if you plan only for yourself, you are also a fool.