Dear Short Answers >> A close relative frequently lies to me. Not about anything really important (that I know of), but truth does not seem to be a habit. Should I say something?
— Becoming Distrustful
DEAR DISTRUSTFUL >> Wait until an opportunity presents itself and then question (politely and casually) the particular lie or half-truth. Don't make it a "you always ..." Those kind of confrontations never end well.
Don't look for trouble
Dear Short Answers >> By almost all measures, I have a great job. It pays well. It has a moral center. I get to do the right thing and am never under any pressure otherwise. I get high marks for my performance across the board. And the job even has a defined benefit plan. But the problem is that it just isn't challenging enough. I feel guilty getting paid as much as I do. I even feel guilty when people tell me how well I am doing.
I am 65 and have had the job for 10 years. I could probably work at it for as long as I want. I could retire, but I worry that if I am bored doing a job that is on its face challenging, retirement will be a struggle. I might be able to find another job, but I am not certain that at my particular place in life I want to begin a 60 hour-a-week endeavor. Ideas?
DEAR MFI >> We think you should count your lucky stars! If you still feel that maybe there is something else out there for you, carve out some real time each week to look for it. Good luck.
A brave old world
Dear Short Answers >> What's the deal with baby showers? Until this summer I never heard of them. Do I have to go?
DEAR JANEY >> It seems to be a millennial thing — like big weddings and social media. Maybe they feel the need to connect after all that texting. No, you don't have to go, but you might enjoy participating in what was once a historical ritual intended to feather the nest for new parents and celebrate a major life passage.
Tiara not essential
Dear Short Answers >> I am going to a black tie event — it is midweek, but in New York City with many celebs. My standard black dress suddenly seems not quite festive enough. What's enough?
DEAR CINDY >> You can't compete with the celebs – so don't try. You are not required to leave your comfort zone for events of this kind.
Thinness is a drug
Dear Short Answers >> I lost 5 pounds last week and I am happier than I've been in a year. Is this crazy?
— So Thin, So Beautiful
DEAR T&B >> We've been there and understand the high. But know this: 5 pounds in one week is probably not sustainable. Enjoy it while you can, try to keep it going, but don't throw out your old clothes.
Teach the children
Dear Short Answers >> What do I do about my friends who are still carrying a torch for Bernie?
— Getting Annoyed
DEAR GETTING >> Just shake your head and sigh, and tell them that you love them.