We are writing in response to Rinaldo DelGallo III’s op-ed column "Several things that men need to know" (Jan. 28). He warns young men to think twice before becoming a father because of what he sees as the victimization of men by the court system should the couple break up.
We found his message profoundly discouraging. Our experience is that fatherhood has evolved in enormously positive ways in the last 30 years. Men, like never before, are actively engaged in nurturing their children, to the benefit of sons and daughters alike. For many men, having children is the most rewarding experience of their lives.
As long-time marriage counselors, we have worked with parents during the difficult challenges of divorce. We help them understand that they have both contributed to the problems between them, and that both can contribute to the solution of ensuring the best for their children post-divorce.
It is true that young men and young women need to think twice before having children. It is the biggest responsibility one can take on. We also want to say that parenthood can be a path of great satisfaction and growth.
ANI AND BILL GROSSER
The writers are LICSWs co-directors, Center for Compassionate Relationships.