Brian Small, 28, of Miami, Fla., pledges to "switch to creamy peanut butter."
A 24-year-old from Great Barrington, who gave his name only as John, wishes to "explore the sport of falconry."
And Whitney, 27, of Boston, had better consider a move to Washington or Colorado because she plans to "capitalize" on the legalization of marijuana.
Those were among the New Year's resolutions submitted at Mission Bar & Tapas in Pittsfield. The Eagle asked people at a variety of area businesses this week to write down their New Year's resolutions.
The results, as could be expected, were all over the map.
To Nicole, 27, of Boston, we hope you indeed "find more ‘me time' " and we also commend Pittsfield resident Philip Bastow for nobly resolving to "give back more to the community that supports me in my endeavors."
And "to victoriously return to vegetarianism, practice more yoga and drink more bourbon," is within your power, Justin, 24, of Pittsfield. We trust you can do it.
The Eagle wishes Justin Rinck, 11, of New York's Long Island, the best in his athletic endeavors this year, as he hoped in the New Year's resolution he recorded at Patrick's Pub in Pittsfield to "play harder in baseball."
Indeed, we believe if Rinck fulfills his resolution he may one day commence that "career as a New York Yankee" he envisions. If not, we happen to know many gym teachers -- Rinck's back-up career plan -- who don't have it so bad either.
After Rinck, disgruntled coffee drinker Aaron Garner, 36, of Pittsfield, had a go at the resolution sheet The Eagle posted at Patrick's.
Garner's pledge -- "to spend less than $1,825 for coffee at Starbucks this year" -- elicited knowing laughter from us here. We perhaps related less to the second part -- "to stop licking frozen flag poles" -- but laughed no less. Touché.
And M. Johnson, 49, of Pittsfield -- you're better than the "dirtbag mama's boys who live in their parents basements" that you've dated in the past. Stick to your resolution to cut those types out and perhaps 2014 will prove it to you.
At the Old Forge restaurant in Lanesborough, Shawn Tatro, 52, of Williamstown, and Parker Chandler, 28, of Pittsfield, struck similar chords.
Their respective resolutions "to volunteer more" and "to be more loving towards my fellow man -- even the one's that are mean" heartened us, and we wish them all the best in that.
Pittsfield's coffee drinkers, while visiting North Street's Marketplace Cafe, shared some resolutions as well.
We at The Eagle can't fault Bill, 63, of Pittsfield for his wish to "stay out of Wash ington, D.C.," where the ap proval rating for Congress this year sank as low as 9 percent.
And to Roma, 17, of Pittsfield: Many Eagle staffers share your need to "be nicer in the morning," whether or not they've admitted it or resolved to do so.
Some people spend lifetimes searching for inner peace, Liz, 21, of East Otis, but here's to hoping 2014 is the year you find it.
But, Dylan, 21, of South Lee -- we somehow doubt that you'll "own a panda bear" this year. Sorry.
To reach Phil Demers:
or (413) 281-2859.
On Twitter: @BE_PhilD