To the Editor of THE EAGLE:
I feel it is my duty to plead with all television watchers in Eastern New York and Western Massachusetts to join out of necessity a desperate philanthropic project in order to protect us all from an inescapable advertising campaign. I refer, of course, to the suave individual who sells cars on every TV station in the entire area by utilizing his signature, subtle and sophisticated vocabulary that terminates in "HUGE."
The human soul is a fragile apparatus that needs constant nurturing and protection from these types of brutal assaults. Aside from my not possibly believing that even a partially evolved human being, having been repeatedly subjected to this merciless barrage, would then propel him or herself up to the perpetrator's place of business and actually purchase one of his four-wheeled vehicles, I think the essential issue is to do whatever we can to put a stop to these classy verbal attacks.
What I propose is for each and everyone of us to contribute whatever we can afford to a fund whose purpose it will be to get this outrageous entity off the air. This can only be done, of course, if we can replace the enormous sums of money the endless TV channels are making by repeatedly running these horrific ads. Yes, the money we raise will go to the very people in the television industry who should be held complicit in running such frightening commercials in the first place. But, by replacing the dollars received from the offending individual, then, as part of the deal, the stations would agree in writing to show mercy on their viewers by never running these atrocious affronts to humanity ever again.
All we need is a reputable organization that will handle this crucial campaign fund. That eliminates banks, corporations and governments. Perhaps a non-profit entity would be appropriate.
I am waiting to hear from you and will entertain any and all suggestions for the proper society or association to run the crusade. Our very quality of life will ultimately depend upon your generosity.