Short Answers: Adult son smothered by helicopter mom


Dear Short Answers >> I'm 28 years old and getting smothered by my mother. She calls me every day and asks a million questions. She makes surprise visits where I work and brings cookies to my co-workers. She sends me so many emails that I haven't even read most of them. I've tried to have a heart-to-heart talk with her, but it always ends in tears (on her part). I don't want this to be the basis of our relationship for the rest of my life. How do I get her to stop?

— Can't Breathe

DEAR CB >> This is a toxic system. Obviously you don't see how you enable it, but it takes two to do this tango. Probably both of you should see a counselor — together. This is a time bomb — disable it now. There is an independent life out there for you and for her.

Dear Short Answers >> Our son just moved back home after living on his own for several years in another city. He is an adult now and we try not to make too many rules but he and his girlfriend were having a very good time this weekend and the sounds were "uncomfortable" for us and kept us awake for two nights! What to do?

— Dad

DEAR DAD >> This is one of the many reasons we do not support the current Boomerang trend. Almost any other solution is preferable — even a time-limited rent subsidy. Moving back home is regressive behavior and promotes dependency and bad manners. Don't discuss details. Tell your son, in the nicest possible way, that he has 30 days to make other living arrangements.

Dear Short Answers >> I don't like being with people my own age — especially women. I hate to say it, but they make me feel old. How low can I go without appearing ridiculous?

— Dick

DEAR DICK >> These women your age that make you feel old ... if they were dating someone younger, at what point would you ask to be introduced to their son? Don't like that answer? We say 10 years is about the legal limit.

Equal opportunity

Dear Short Answers >> It really ticks me off that people hold gay marriages to a higher standard. Gay friends of mine who were briefly married are now seeking divorce and the whole town is buzzing about it. Straight people are rolling their eyes and gay people seem embarrassed. Some marriages don't work. Is this new news?

— B.J.J.

DEAR BJJ >> Of course, you are right. And it isn't the first time that those with recently won civil rights are expected, by some, to continually "prove" their worthiness. However, at the end of the day it is simply gossip and merits no comment.

What a world it could be

Dear Short Answers >> Why is it important to have respect?

— James

DEAR JAMES >> It is important to have the respect for others because it contributes to your own sense of self-esteem. However, we think it is even more important to show respect to others, because it is the basis of our social contract.

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