Short Answers: If it feels creepy, then it's creepy
Dear Short Answers >> A friend has secretly confided in me that she is planning to leave her husband. I don't really know either of them very well, but she has come to me for help in getting a job (we work in similar businesses) and a temporary apartment. Normally, I would be glad to help a friend find a job, but I feel very dishonest given the circumstances.
Should I tell her I don't want to do this? Or that I will only help if she tells her husband first? This whole situation makes me feel uncomfortable.
DEAR NORAH >> It is not your place to deliver an ultimatum about how she deals with her husband, but it is your right, in fact obligation, to refuse to participate in a "situation".
What's it to ya?
Dear Short Answers >> A friend of mine's mother recently passed away after a very long illness. My friend is understandably saddened by this even though he did not have a very close relationship with his mom over the past 10 years. He's now decided, however, to sell his house and quit his job and move into the house that he just inherited, which is hundreds of miles from where he lives now.
I have begged him to wait at least a year to see how he feels then but he insists that this is the right thing to do. How do I stop him from potentially making a huge mistake that he cannot easily fix?
— Very Concerned
DEAR VERY CONCERNED >> Has it occurred to you that perhaps you are unaware of all the thought your friend has devoted to making this decision? Or do you just assume that because it is different from the one you might have made, it's the wrong one? Either way, it isn't cool to be so sure about another person's choices.
Timeless tales ... continued
Dear Short Answers >> I love my husband and I love my babies. I've been married for six years and the good things about him are still really good. But so are all the bad things (he drinks, swears off, is good as gold and then he drinks again). I think the people in my town, and even some of my friends think I'm crazy to stay with him, which makes me lonely because there is really no one I can talk to about this. I thought the baby would help. Am I stupid?
— Still in Love
DEAR S-I-L >> You know everything about this situation. You know it is unlikely to change, and you know it will be limiting to your life, his life and your child's life. But, apparently, there are enough good things in this relationship to keep you in it, and allows you to "progress it." Al Anon meetings may be a safe place for you to talk.
Dear Short Answers >> I find my social life exhausting. I like entertaining and I like going out but lately I feel like I do all the work. What do you think?
— Social Butterfly
DEAR BUTTER >> Fly darling, fly! If you can't get on a plane, then take a few weeks off from the party and read, watch TV — whatever are your solitary pleasures.
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