DEAR ABBY: At the end of last year, I sat down with my parents hoping that maybe we could approach the new year with a fresh start. One short month into the new year, my mother is back at it again, ridiculing me and making me feel like no matter what I do, it will never be good enough for her.

I have reached the end of my rope. I'm tired of dealing with the constant cycle of emotional abuse. I have overcome much in my life, and I'm proud of myself for it. During times when I struggle, I reflect on how much. I keep pushing myself forward, but at this point, I'm just tired.

I have considered distancing myself, but the recent loss of my grandfather hit me hard. I have been leaning on my family to keep myself going, so I'm in a pickle.

-- Hurt, stunned and tired in New York

DEAR H.S.T: You may never be able to have what you want from your mother, not because there is something wrong with you, but because she has proven herself incapable of being supportive.

For understanding and the emotional support you are seeking, consider contacting your clergyperson (if you have one) or the officiant at your grandfather's funeral and asking about joining a grief support group. If you do, you may find the support you need while at the same time keeping safely at a distance from your mother.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.