DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend was my first crush in grade eight. We are in our late 40s now. He was in a relationship for 17 years with a woman who has three daughters. One hasn't talked to either parent in years. The other two drink, use drugs and have kids of their own. They often ask to "borrow" money, but never pay it back. One of them asked me for enough to put down a deposit for rent on a house. I have two of my own children and my exes don't support them, so I'm wondering how responsible I am for his ex-girlfriend's kids. 

— Not gonna

DEAR NOT GONNA: You have no legal, moral or ethical obligation to the children your boyfriend raised with his former girlfriend. Stick to your guns, dear lady, because you are off the hook if you have the backbone to stay that way.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.