DEAR ABBY: Please share some thoughts about answering the phone on speaker. My lifelong friend does this. Sometimes I'm aware her husband is in the room. Recently, though, we were on speaker phone when she told me she was going to the beauty salon. When the call connected to her vehicle, I assumed she was by herself. We continued our VERY personal conversation (I was doing the talking) until she got to her destination. That's when she told me THEY had arrived! I didn't realize anyone else was in the car. Am I wrong to be upset that she allowed me to do all the talking while her husband listened in without my knowledge? She could have easily switched from a speaker to a private call, considering the nature of the discussion.
— MAD IN MISSOURI
DEAR MAD: You're not wrong to be upset. I would be, too. If your friend understood that it was supposed to be a confidential conversation, she should have told you she wasn't alone or ended the call. Tell her this made you feel invaded and, if you plan to continue your relationship with her, set some ground rules for future phone conversations.