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Girlfriend seems to be trying to back out of relationship

DEAR ABBY: I have been in an on-and-off relationship with a woman for three years. We live about two hours apart. In the beginning, our relationship was wonderful. We would see each other on a regular basis and would text and video chat almost daily. We even talked about marriage.

But as time went on, she became more and more distant. She would either take forever to respond back to me or not respond at all. Her excuse was work. She was always working and always had something going on. I then found out she was dealing with a couple of personal things. When I explained to her that relationships are all about communication, she kind of disagreed.

At one point, I was so upset, angry and frustrated that I said some horrible things to her. I even used foul language because of her not communicating. Also, she didn't even bother to take two minutes out of her time to wish me a happy birthday. I always remember her on her birthday.

She is making me out to be the bad guy. I'm so hurt and angry at her because of her refusal to communicate. Abby, what else can I do? Am I really the bad person here?


DEAR UNCERTAIN: Although you refuse to recognize it, this woman HAS been communicating with you. Her behavior indicates that she is nowhere as interested in you as you are in her, which should have become apparent as she became more and more distant.

You are not a bad person, and neither is she. She's just afraid to give you the bad news verbally. In cases like this, there is nothing you can do besides tell her it's apparent she isn't as invested in the relationship as you are and make a graceful exit.

Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips.

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