DEAR ABBY: My daughter and I have a wonderful relationship. But I am very upset because she listens in on the speaker phone to every conversation I have with my 11-year-old grandson. I really believe we should have privacy, and I think it's strange that she does this. Is she justified, since she knows I'm disturbed by speakerphones in general?

-- Concerned nana in the East

DEAR CONCERNED: You wrote that you have a wonderful relationship with your daughter. Have you asked her why she feels monitoring your calls to your grandson is justified? From my perspective, her behavior may be hypervigilant, but whether it is justified isn't a question that someone who isn't familiar with your family dynamics can answer.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.