DEAR ABBY: I recently began talking to this woman online. We met on an app and have a lot in common, including that our fathers have had or currently have cancer. One night we got into a discussion about depression. I mentioned that in the past I have been suicidal, and she admitted she has felt that way, too. She tells me she thinks about ending her life a lot. I've told her about suicide hotlines and numbers to text someone.

The other night, she said she had started writing her suicide note. She wants to die after her father and her cats die. I'm trying to help her, but it's like she doesn't want my help. She has my number, and I urge her to text me whenever she needs to. We don't live close, so I can't just go to her house and check on her. If she does take her life, I don't know how I could go on, feeling I didn't do more to help her. I don't know what to do anymore.

— Don't Know What to Do 

DEAR DON'T KNOW: You have given this woman a willing ear, emotional support and information that can help her if she chooses to use it. You have NOTHING to feel guilty about. In the final analysis, the person who must "save" her is herself. Continue to offer support from afar. Give her the toll-free number of the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline, 800-273-8255. Your conscience should be clear. For your own sake, please keep it that way.

Contact Dear Abby at or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.