DEAR ABBY: My wife and I have been married 32 years. We are still in love and consider each other our best friend. We survived some rough patches and learned how to make things right. I have one concern at this point in our journey. My wife constantly says, "I hate myself." The more she says it out loud, the more I see the impact on her emotionally. What can a partner do to help? I'm 100% supportive of all she does and totally attracted to her, yet I can't see this being healthy. Please help and thanks.

— Dirty Words in Connecticut 

DEAR DIRTY WORDS: The next time your wife tells you she hates herself, ask her why she is being so hard on herself and ask her to be specific about what it is she hates. Explain that you love her exactly as she is and worry that what she's doing isn't emotionally healthy. (I agree, by the way.) If she persists after that, suggest she make an appointment with a licensed mental health professional to discuss it.

Contact Dear Abby at or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.