DEAR ABBY: I broke up with my boyfriend a few months ago, but I'm still having a difficult time getting over him. I discovered he was responding to sexual messages from men and sending them pictures of himself, including his body parts. I feel this is the biggest betrayal any woman could experience, and keeping the truth from our mutual friends has been difficult.

When people ask me what caused the breakup, I have to deny the truth and tell them we just grew apart. Now I wonder if he ever loved me or was he just using me because I was the breadwinner while he stayed home. I keep wondering if all those times he claimed to be at the gym was he really there? Please help me.

— Broken dignity in California

DEAR BROKEN: That your boyfriend wasn't honest about the fact that he was bisexual and unfaithful was, indeed, a betrayal. I also agree that all those times he claimed to be "at the gym" he was likely with "Jim." That you supported him financially while he involved himself with others — regardless of their gender — was another betrayal.

You should be on your knees thanking your higher power you learned what was going on before you wasted more time (or money) on him. Quit covering for him by lying to your friends about what happened. You are not the first woman to fall for a cheater and you won't be the last.

P.S. If you haven't already contacted your doctor to be tested for STDs, the time is now.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.