PITTSFIELD — When Hillary Clinton was robbed of a chance to be the first woman to hold the most prestigious position in the world — and I use the term "robbed" intentionally, since I was taught as a child that the most votes automatically gets the job — I felt an intense ache for her. Her ache had to be intense, but Hillary is a tough cookie and is already showing signs of recuperating.
To help her over the worst of the misery, I have collected a list of things she will NOT have to do because she lost.
She will not have to replace her domestic "cabinet"— cleaning lady, secretary, the cook and her housekeeper — every time she turns around, as apparently Trump feels the need to replace his cabinet with second-raters. Second, she won't need to tweet. She won't have a hand in furthering global warming and contributing to the the elimination of polar bears.he won't face demands to show anybody her income tax returns or be expected to read or spell. She won't have to know history or science, or — well, anything else, except how to run a business, use bad language, and insult women. She won't have children who make illegal deals with Russia involving money, or, for that matter, make deals of her own with Russia. She won't be accused of hiring illegal aliens to run her household. She won't have to snuggle up to Putin or that North Korean whose ego is probably the only one in the world that is equal to Trump's.
Is she sorry she lost the job? Of course she is! To be cheated out of the most prestigious jobs in the world by a pathological male liar must be hard to accept gracefully. Of course she wishes she could be in the office to avoid the messes Trump will make of things. It will be extra tough to watch him enhance global warming, because, even with Texas in the shape it is in, he won't understand the connection between bad weather and global warming, which he doesn't believe in.
The statue solution
Here in Pittsfield, we have had beautiful weather, so we don't have to worry about another state's gigantic, unsolvable problems. What we do have to worry about is a mere local problem of people trying to seriously damage our local museum by selling off its priceless art. The people in charge apparently have forgotten (or didn't know) that the point of building museums is to supply a safe place for valuable items where they can't be sold to the highest bidder when some well-heeled person wants something. Thus preserved, their value becomes permanently available to all citizens, and their contents become part of our history and available for the public to see.
The saddest thing about raising money with our priceless Norman Rockwells is that there is a perfectly good way to finance whatever the library people want and still keep our paintings.
Here's how. People in a number of Southern states want to bring down statutes like that of General Robert E. Lee that are associated with the Confederacy. We can build a separate wing to display the statues the states don't want and charge a fee for visitors. Each statue would have a plaque under it explaining what the man was known for and how that did or didn't contribute toward making him a racist. The School Department could even get into the act by assigning students to write a composition about a particular statue and his history. The Eagle could run a competition with prizes for the best ones. Surely we could find a way to keep our treasured art.
As a couple of my students were wont to say, "How do ya' like them apples, Miz V?"
I like 'em.
I liked 'em even better as I sat in Pittsfield, watching somebody on TV describe hurricanes as they made mincemeat of chunks of poor old Florida. The question is whether or when Pittsfield will get whammed again someday. I lived through a hooper-dooper when I was a little girl in Baltimore and that was plenty.
Dorothy van den Honert is an occasional Eagle contributor.