Capitol Riot Anniversary

House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, of Calif., listens as a video with the cast of "Hamilton" the musical, plays during a discussion with historians Doris Kearns Goodwin and Jon Meacham on Capitol Hill in Washington, Jan. 6. Some lambasted Pelosi for the move, but this columnist is viewing the prob-portunity of the situation.

The anniversary of the Capitol insurrection was Jan. 6, and Nancy Pelosi chose to mark the gravity of the day by having everyone at the Capitol watch a song from "Hamilton: An American Musical." Many people on all sides of the political spectrum have lambasted Pelosi for this. Sure, we'd like the Speaker of the House to focus on dealing with some of the pressing issues we ostensibly elect our representatives to handle, but Pelosi just can't get enough "Hamilton."

Some people may view this as a problem. But I view it as a prob-portunity! Maybe if we want Speaker Pelosi to address our concerns, we just need to appeal to her love of Hamilton by creating Hamilton-style songs about the issues. Here are a few suggestions below:

"Alexander Hamilton"

Restrictions aren't a ban on guns,

But we could surely stand to ban some guns,

'Cause there's a million shootings in our schools,

And you just wait...

"Aaron Burr, Sir"

Pardon me, are we out of debt yet?

Have we made the top corps pay for what they get yet?

Or do we let them just pay zero tax like Nike, yet

Blame low-wage workers for not budgeting more tightly? (Yep!)

"My Shot"

I am not able to pay my debt

I am not able to pay my debt

They had said it was prudent

To become a student

But I'm now buried in all my debt

"The Story of Tonight"

I may not live through this pandemic (x2)

Because we've handled it not right (x2)

The country's failures are systemic (x2)

We need some useful oversight

"The Schuyler Sisters"

Unions say you deserve fair pay

Boss says unions waste your dough

Unions say you deserve sick days

Boss says unions have to go,

Look around, look around, how lucky you are to have a job right now

"You'll Be Back"

You say

To make any change ain't a price that you're willing to pay

You pout

'Cause climate be damned, fossil fuels you just can't live without

You're okay,

Though it's companies dumping the trash in the air every day,

We'll just say

That people should use metal straws, take more care how they play

"Helpless"

Boy I'm feeling

Healthless

Healthcare costs are steep, we can't keep ignoring

I'm Healthless

People skip the ambulance 'cause they can't afford it

"Satisfied"

Teachers might be

The job that most often gets cast aside

Paid lightly

For the essential service that they provide

"Ten Duel Commandments"

It's the COVID commandments

It's the COVID commandments

Number one:

All COVID tests need to be free

Because people won't take them with a high fee

Number two:

Vaccines and masks need a mandate

Otherwise it'll just spread straight through the state

Number three:

If you're going to have restaurants stay open

The pandemic isn't gonna end like you're hopin'

Copin' with reality shouldn't be a lot to ask

People can't eat while wearing a mask

"The Room Where It Happens"

It's on camera, you can view that it happened

It's true that it happened

A coup nearly happened

Some officials clearly knew it would happen

Approved it to happen

Amused it could happen

People who were plotting to destroy the state

Need to get set straight

Before it's too late

Because a coup nearly happened

Democracy is pretty screwed if it happens

Seth Brown is an award-winning humor writer, the author of "The Disapproval of My Toaster," and has repeatedly thrown away his shot. His website is RisingPun.com