Q: How do you cook a turkey? A: 'Oven'
The Eagle recently asked a huddled group of millennials at Shire Breu-Hous in Dalton how to cook a turkey.
Evan, a 27-year-old from Dalton, responded with a question of his own. "Can't you, like, deep fry it?"
His friend, a 30-year-old Pittsfield resident named Brian, said, "Smoked turkey is pretty bomb."
"I'll tell you right now how to cook a turkey," Brandon, a 32-year-old from Hinsdale, said, joining the conversation. What followed was a rapid back-and-forth between this newcomer and our inquisitive first respondent.
Brandon: This is how you cook a turkey properly. First thing you have to do, you get this injector thing, and you inject some type of stuff into it. Not a lot, you don't want to pierce it.
Evan: This sounds borderline illegal.
Brandon: No, it's pretty cool. So, you inject, and then from there, you put it in a brine for like a day and a half or two days. After the brine, you're going to want to pull it out, and you're going to want to put a dry rub on it.
Evan: OK. What's in your dry rub?
Brandon: Here's the thing about the dry rub, though. It can't just be on top. You have to go underneath the skin and tuck it in. You've got to really lather it up. You and the turkey are going to get really friendly. It's going to get weird, but that's how you got to do it. And then, you have to get peanut oil, and you have to deep fry the turkey.
Evan: In the peanut oil?
Brandon: [not answering] Outside, not in a house...
Evan: Frozen turkey?
Brandon: If you're dry rubbing, it can't be frozen ... if you're allergic to peanut oil ... the oil does not matter. Peanut oil is the best taste.
Evan: Vegetable oil is fine.
Brandon: Vegetable oil actually burns way faster, so you want to do a peanut oil.
Evan: You want like a higher viscosity oil.
Brandon: Yeah ... you take that, put it in, depending on the poundage, you let it sit there and boil. Make sure it's outside. Literally, I'd say an hour, you take that sucker out, and you serve it to everybody. It deep fries for an hour ... that's how you take care of a turkey.
Tasha, a 26-year-old from Great Barrington, had nothing to add, saying, "I feel like everything they said was g------ perfect."
Neither did Colin, a 22-year-old from Lenox.
"I usually just watch football, and the food just appears in front of me at some point," he said.
But another friend in the bunch may have had the most accurate — and succinct — response of all. "Oven," she said.
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